smallness study #2

James Bowden

Your lips braced against the cold
My buttocks braced against the porcelain toilet seat
My lips taut against my teeth
Heart pushing against my chest
A small moment, though it has been this whole
morning, of opening: of realizing love is possible.
That it has already begun to exist, without my
permission. Despite the old defenses. Despite my
silly self. My silly little self.

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The ending is inspired in form by Mary Oliver; the first line by Devin Kelly (in “As Light”); and the repetition feels like Cameron Awkward-Rich’s “Meditations in an Emergency”.