My therapist tries to touch me

James Bowden

for Denise Lin

I never asked for flight. Only to feel this fully, this entire,
the way snow touched bare skin & is, suddenly, snow no longer.
                                                      —Ocean Vuong, “Devotion”

Come. Close your eyes. Walk. I am here
with You, along your forearm. I am here
with You, a voice just ahead. How
(how) does it feel? How
(how) do You feel?

Not the blindness itself, but the blinding,
Nor the going, but the letting, Let go, Let go,
Let go, Let go, Open
those eyes, Your eyes.
You, alive. You. You!

(Rilke rolls in his rotted coffin)
(No feeling is final)
Walk. Pause. Let go. She smiles at me
as if that
             is enough.
As if I ( i )
             am enough.

---

Draws from Rilke’s classic “Go to the Limits of Your Longing”. I had fun with this one, based on a good real experience. I also gave it to my therapist, and this was one of the main ways she came to realize how much she meant, means to me. Silliness but also love, so.